“Sit still and avoid fidgeting.”
“Why is there no yoga flow?”
“When is this going to be over? Ring the bell, please.”
“I don’t get this. I want to leave.”
“This is torturing and so uncomfortable.”
“I think I am in the wrong class.”
I was in my first Yin Yoga training class with Paul Grilley, one of the highly respected teachers in the yoga world, when these thoughts were swirling in my mind.
In actual fact, I was really in the wrong class. I thought I had signed up for Yoga Anatomy but my brain selectively blocked the word ‘Yin’ which came before ‘Yoga Anatomy’ when I registered for it. I regretted it after sitting for 6 hours on DAY 1. I had 2 more days to go and that was another 12 hours!
Still, I returned to the class on Day2 with aches and pains in my entire back which spurred me on to ask the question, “Why am I feeling so much pain after all that stretching yesterday?” The answer given was, my body was experiencing a whole new concept of deep, mindful stretching and healing. Wow! Really?
I could not get a refund, so I decided to stay and endure more torturing and intense deep stretching postures, all in the name of healing.
Days 2 and 3 transformed me from being a go go, push for more, move quickly and try harder person to a stay still, do not push, do not engage the muscles, observe quietly, breathe with softness and be gentle when you feel the discomfort and strong sensations convert.
Today, I celebrate Yin Yoga and the ‘pain’ it puts me though.
Everyone deserves to experience the teaching and wisdom of slowing down and breathing with love and tender care. Your physical body is the house to the functioning of your inner world. Your inner world is the home to your soul. If you have known me for a while now, you would have heard me repeatedly saying, make time to come home- the home within, that always offers you the comfort you need.
Deep stretching is not a pleasant feeling in the beginning, just as how I had experienced it years ago. But the more I sit with the discomfort the postures put me through, it is indeed allowing me to expect less of myself. It gives me precious time to care for myself which I have often forgotten.
It also opens the channel within me to see myself as a human being and for a moment, not a human doing. Often, the opportunity is there to realign my body and mind with my soul that is ready to provide me with more goodness which I am not aware of.
I am willing to come home and be loved, appreciated and welcomed. I crave those sensations more each day especially in these uncertain times.
Welcome home, anytime when you are ready!